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117: A Family of Feelings

On this episode, we’ll talk about how feelings are related to each other – kind of like a family. 👪

Show Notes

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Please send us a voice memo, drawing, or letter at hello@likeyoupodcast.com. We play a voice memos from listeners either at the beginning of an episode or during the affirmation segment of the episode. If your child wants to be included, record a voice memo and send it to us. Your child can introduce themself and then say a favorite affirmation, sing a line from a Like You song, say what they like about the show, or share whatever they feel! Keep it short (10-20 seconds). For more info on how to record and send a voice memo, see this post.

Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. The show is written and produced by Noah Glenn. The show’s artwork was illustrated by Mia Saine. Episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn.

This episode features original music by Noah Glenn. 

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Transcript

Noah: Hey everyone! Listener support is what makes this podcast possible. When you sign up for a Like You Subscription you gain access to special bonus content. Please consider supporting the show by subscribing through Apple Podcasts or Patreon. Thanks! And here’s today’s show.

Holden: This is Holden Kooima and I’m from Illinois, and I love your podcast. And I love that we say affirmations, and I love that I get to spend time with my family. Thank you!

[intro music]

Noah: Hello! I’m Noah and this is Like You, a mindfulness podcast for kids. I’m so glad you’re here! Thank you to Holden for sending in that message. I’m glad to hear that you like listening to the podcast with your family. In fact today we’ll talk about how feelings are related to each other – kind of like a family. So listeners of all ages, find a place to listen where you feel comfortable and safe. As I ask questions and invite you to say affirmations, you’re welcome to speak out loud, or as always, you can just think your responses quietly in your mind.

Let’s start with a breathing exercise to calm your body and focus your mind. We’ll do a hug breath today. As you take a deep breath in, wrap your arms around yourself, giving yourself a hug. Then as you breathe out, stretch your arms out wide. But I want to add an extra layer to this breathing exercise. So as you breathe in, I also want you to imagine you are breathing in the loving thoughts that other people have for you. Think about a few people who love you – maybe parents, grandparents, siblings, or a best friend. And imagine you are pulling their loving thoughts toward you as you breathe in and give yourself a hug. Then as you breathe out, stretch your arms out wide and imagine you are blowing some kind and loving thoughts right back to your family or friends. With each breath imagine that love passing back and forth between you and the people you love. Ready? Let’s do it a few times.

Take a deep breath in, and imagine family or friends sending you love as you hug yourself. Now breathe out and stretch your arms wide, sending your love back out to them. Now another deep breath in as you pull more loving thoughts toward yourself. And a slow breath out, sending out love as you stretch your arms out wide. One more time. Breathe in, hugging yourself and feeling the love others have for you. And breathe out, stretching your arms as you send love back.

Okay, now end with one last hug for yourself. Give yourself a nice squeeze and on the count of three we’ll say I like me. 1-2-3. I like me.

I like you too. You are very loved by many people in your life, and you have lots of love to give in return.

Have you ever thought about your feelings and emotions like a family? All of our feelings are related in different ways. Some feelings might be very closely related. You could say that happy and joyful are almost like twins. Other feelings might be very distantly related, like a third cousin you’ve never met, who lives in another state or country. Love may not feel anything like anger, but they are both part of the feelings family even though they are different.

Can you think of some other feelings that are very close relatives?

And what about feelings that are very distantly related. Can you think of any of those?

Today I want to focus on a few unexpectedly close feeling relationships. These are feelings that are close enough to be brothers or sisters, but that you might not immediately think of as being close. Even in a real family, a brother and sister might be very different. They may have very different interests, enjoy different activities or hobbies, like different kinds of food, read different kinds of books, they might even look quite different, but they’re still family.

Can you think of any feelings that are very different, but still closely related?

The first relationship I’m thinking of is nervous and excited. You might think of nervous as being an uncomfortable feeling, and excited as a happy feeling. But look closely and they share a lot in common. Both are feelings you might feel when you’re looking forward to something big – like a party, a game or competition, a trip, or starting something new. Both feelings are often about anticipating, or thinking ahead about how things might turn out, or about reacting to something new and unexpected. And the truth is, there are lots of times when you’ll feel both excited and nervous at the same time. You might feel one bigger than the other, but focus on your feelings and you may notice they are both there. Can you think of a time you felt both nervous and excited and the same time?

The next siblings feelings I’m thinking of are brave and fearful. At first you might say, “hey, those are opposites.” But I don’t think that’s quite right. Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. Being brave means you’re feeling scared, but you take a deep breath and face your fears anyway. It might be hard to do, but you can remind yourself of affirmations to help you feel confident and powerful, by saying things like “I am brave and strong” or “I can face my fears.” So brave and fear are actually closely related, because anytime you feel brave, that means you’ve faced your fear.

The last two related feelings I want to talk about are calm and bored. These are both things you might feel when things are quiet and there’s not a lot happening around you. When there’s no school, and no activity, and no game to play or tv show to watch, you may suddenly find yourself with nothing to do. You might find yourself tempted to say “I’m bored.” But instead, that same situation could lead you to say “I’m going to enjoy a moment of calm.” Do you know what I think is one thing that makes a difference between bored and calm? Maybe it’s no surprise that my answer is mindfulness. Remember, mindfulness just means paying close attention to the things around you and inside you. So when you have a quiet moment with nothing to do, instead letting yourself feel bored, find some little details to focus your attention on. Look out a window and watch the breeze blow through a tree or raindrops landing on the pavement. Close your eyes and notice some quiet sounds that you might usually tune out – like a heater or air conditioner running, the hum of a refrigerator, or your own breath going in and out, in and out. Look up close at your fingerprints and think about how they are different than any other fingerprints in the world. You could even rub your fingers together and notice how that feels and how it sounds. These are all ideas that can help you turn a bored feeling into a calm feeling.

Can you think of any other feelings that might seem different but are actually closely related? If you do, and you want to share your thoughts, have a grown up help you send us an email, or leave a comment on an instagram post. I love hearing from listeners about what sorts of ideas they have about our podcast topics.

Now as long as we’re still thinking about feelings as a family let’s do one quick imagination exercise. You know that you’ve got every different kind of feeling inside you, and it’s ok to feel them all at different times. Or maybe you even feel a bunch of feelings at the same time. So close your eyes if it helps you imagine. Now picture a holiday gathering or family reunion, where there are grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, a big extended family all in one place. Then imagine that each person at the gathering is a different emotion. Happy, sad, proud, frustrated, hopeful, thankful, grief, confusion, excitement, even silly. They’re all there. Some are the close family you spend lots of time with, others are distant relatives you don’t see very often. Some feelings you wish you could spend more time with. Others, maybe you don’t want to spend so much time with. Remember all these feelings live inside each of us. But none of the feelings are us. When the family gatherings are over, relatives go their separate ways, but you’ll always be you. In the same way, feelings come and go, but no feeling lasts forever. And whatever you’re feeling, you’re still you inside .

Now it’s time for affirmations. Affirmations are words you can say about yourself to remind yourself how wonderful you are. You can say them out loud or inside your head. I’ll say each affirmation twice. So you can listen the first time, then say it together with me the second time.

I’m glad that I am me.

I am not alone in my feelings.

When things feel scary, I can be brave.

I can choose calm.

It’s ok to feel my feelings.

I’m grateful for the people who love me.

I love myself just the way I am.

Now let’s take a few slow, deep breaths as we wind down our time together. If any of those affirmations stood out to you, feel free to write them down, or just store them safely in your mind to say when you need it. If you have an affirmation that is special to you, I would love to hear it! If you’d like to send a recording of your favorite affirmation to play on the show, have a grownup check our website or show notes for more information.

I’d like to end with a song about different kinds of feelings called However You Feel. Feel free to sing or dance along, or keep imagining different feelings as relatives while you listen.

If you feel like singing

Here’s what you can do

Lalala Lala lala doot de doot da doo

Lalala Lala lala doot de doot da doo

If you feel like laughing

Here’s what you can do

Hahaha hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo

Hahaha hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo

However you feel

Your feelings are real

And you are never alone

So sing out high

And sing out low

And let somebody know

If you feel like crying

Here’s what you can do

Wah wah wah wah boo hoo hoo

Wah wah wah wah boo hoo hoo

If you’re feeling anxious

Here’s what you can do

Breathe in deep, then breathe out too

Breathe in deep, then breathe out too

However you feel

Your feelings are real

And you are never alone

So sing out high

And sing out low

And let somebody know

If you’re feeling lonely

Here’s what you can do

Call a friend and say “how are you?”

Call a friend and say “how are you?”

If you feel like making someone smile

Here’s what you can do

Say “I’m glad that we’re friends, and I like you”

“I’m glad that we’re friends, and I like you”

I can’t wait to spend some time together again soon. Until next time, I like you, I’m proud of you, and I’m glad we are friends. Have a happy and peaceful day.

Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. It is made possible by our subscribers on Apple Podcasts and Patreon. Become a supporter by tapping “subscribe” on our show page in Apple Podcasts, or by visiting Patreon.com/likeyoupodcast. You can also tell your friends about the show or leave a 5 star review wherever you listen to podcasts. Like You is written and hosted by me, Noah Glenn. I also composed and performed the Like You theme music and other music that appeared in the episode. Our podcast cover art was illustrated by Mia Saine. Our episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn. Grownups can find more information about Like You by visiting our website at likeyoupodcast.com. Thanks for listening.