Everyone feels afraid sometimes. It’s a normal, healthy part of growing up. With Halloween approaching, it’s a great time to talk about fear – how it feels, and what to do with it. 👻
Show Notes
If you’re looking for help knowing how to discuss fear with your child, here are some resources.
https://childmind.org/article/help-children-manage-fears/#full_article
https://www.understood.org/articles/en/help-child-overcome-fear
https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/comments-scared.html
Also, our friends at Otterly recently shared some great instagram posts about managing fear that are great to show your kids!
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Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. The show is written and produced by Noah Glenn. The show’s artwork was illustrated by Mia Saine. Episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn.
This episode features original music by Noah Glenn, as well as additional music by IMAKEMADBEATS.
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Transcript
Noah: Remember to subscribe to Like You on your favorite podcast app, so you never miss an episode. If you’re a fan of the show, please consider supporting the podcast with a small monthly donation by visiting Patreon.com/likeyoupodcast. And if you want to help others find out about us, you can tell your friends about the show or leave a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts. Now let’s start the show!
Gabby: Hi my name is Gabby and I’m from Brooklyn. And I like this podcast because it makes me less afraid.
[intro music]
Noah: Hello! I’m Noah and this is Like You, a mindfulness podcast for kids. Thank you to Gabby for sending that voice message. I’m so glad to hear that this podcast helps you feel less afraid. And it just so happens that today’s episode is all about what it’s like to feel afraid. So, listeners of all ages, find a place to listen where you feel comfortable and safe. During the podcast, you’re welcome to speak out loud and play along. Or if you’d rather just think your responses quietly in your mind, that’s ok too.
Before I begin, let me start by reassuring you. I’m not going to try to scare you during this podcast. I won’t yell boo or play scary noises, or tell a spooky story. But we will talk about and think about being afraid. So if you can, I encourage you to listen along with someone who helps you feel safe. Maybe that’s a parent, or a sibling, or a friend. If you’re a grownup listening along with a child, I am including some links in the show notes with tips for healthy ways of talking to your child about fear. If you’re listening by yourself, that’s ok too, and we’ll help give you some ways you can take charge of your own fears.
So, do you ever feel afraid? I do. Everyone feels afraid sometimes. Being afraid is certainly a normal, healthy part of growing up. And it’s not only kids who feel afraid. It is a normal and healthy part of being a grown up too.
Let’s start with a breathing exercise that can help you move past a small fear. Even the simple act of taking deep breaths can help to relieve our fears by slowing down our heartbeat and helping us feel more calm. For this breathing exercise, we’ll also add body movement and imagination in a way that helps us push our fears away.
If something comes to mind that you’re just a little afraid of, you can start by thinking about that thing that scares you. If you’d rather not think about a scary thought, that’s ok too.
Now I want you to think of a pose that helps you feel brave. Maybe it’s standing up tall, or puffing your chest out, or flexing your muscles. As you breathe in you’ll make that brave pose and imagine you are filling yourself up with brave thoughts. As you blow out, long and hard, you’ll imagine sending those brave thoughts out like a mighty wind to blow your fear away from you. Let’s try it now. If you thought of something that scares you, picture it now. If you don’t want to use a scary thought, just picture a red ball floating in front of you to represent your fear. Now take a long deep breath in, puffing out your chest and striking a brave pose. Then blow your air out and imagine blowing the scary thing away from you. It’s moving slowly away from you, and it seems a bit smaller. Let’s do it again. Take a deep breath in, filling up your chest with brave thoughts and standing in a brave pose. Now blow your hardest and imagine your wind chasing the scary thing farther away, as it grows even smaller. Now you can barely see it in the distance. Let’s do one more. Take a deep breath in, filling up with brave thoughts and holding your brave pose. Then blow like a mighty wind, chasing the scary thought away. Imagine it floating away smaller and smaller, until it is completely gone and you can’t see it any more.
Now on the count of three we’ll say I like me. 1-2-3. I like me.
I like you too. I am proud of how you’re learning and growing each day. It’s ok to feel afraid, and you’re learning with practice to feel brave and strong.
Now let’s talk about feeling afraid. As I said earlier, everyone feels afraid sometimes. We all have that in common. But what we feel afraid of can be different for different people. There may be things you’re afraid of that someone else you know is not. And there may be things that are not scary to you, that are scary to other people. Some of you might actually like feeling afraid. For some people, it fills them with excitement and a sense of adventure, and they may seek out scary and spooky books, shows, or movies. Others of you do not like to feel afraid, and you know that scary books or shows are not for you.
How about you? Do you like spooky and scary things, or would you rather stay far away from spooky and scary things?
Even for those of you who said you like scary things, there reaches a point where something might be too scary. We’re all afraid of something.
What kind of things are scary to you?
Some fears are common, meaning lots of people share the same fear. Some common fears are being afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of dogs or other animals. Many people are afraid of loud noises, or unfamiliar noises. Some people are afraid of heights, or going to the doctor, or things in their imagination. Chances are, something on that list is scary to you or it was scary at one time in your life. Because that’s another thing about feeling afraid. All of us feel it sometimes, and all of us also learn to overcome our fears. I bet you can think of something that used to scare you, but doesn’t any more. I hope you feel proud about how you’ve grown and how brave you are becoming. Being brave takes time and it takes practice. If you ever feel like the grownups or bigger kids in your life aren’t afraid, that’s not the case. They’ve just had more practice with their scary feelings, and they’ve learned ways to manage those feelings.
Often, that starts by recognizing your feelings. So how does it feel when you feel afraid? How does it feel in your body? It may feel like your heart is pounding hard and jumping in your chest. It may feel like your tummy is being tied in knots. It may feel like breathing heavily, or like it’s hard to breathe at all. Being afraid might also make you tense up all your muscles or feel like you can’t move.
Our body responds to fear because it wants to protect us. And fear can be good when it keeps us away from something dangerous. Our body reacts to fear like this, because it is telling us to get away from something that could hurt us. So be sure to listen to that good fear if you’re in a dangerous situation. If something scary or dangerous happens, find a safe person who you trust to tell about it. Talking about your fear can make you feel better, and a safe grownup or friend can also help you with the scary situation.
Other times, you will feel scared about things that you know can’t actually hurt you – things like bad dreams, imaginary creatures, or things from movies and TV shows. These may be the sorts of thoughts that creep into your head at night and make it hard to fall asleep. When you know in your head that you’re safe, but you still feel scared, there are some things you can do to help yourself overcome your fear and feel brave. First, remind your body that you are safe. If you are having trouble breathing, or are breathing fast and hard, start by taking control one breath at a time. Deep breath in, long breath out. Deep breath in, long breath out. This sends a signal to your body that you’re ok. Once your breathing is in control, move on to anywhere your body feels tense or tight or uncomfortable. If your tummy is tied in knots, imagine the know loosening up and untying. Soften your stomach and relax. Then check in with the rest of your body. Soften your eyebrows, your shoulders, your chest. Take another deep breath in and then as you breath out, try to relax a little more.
Once you’ve helped your body feel calm, then you can help your mind feel calm too. It helps to have a few favorite affirmations you can say to yourself, like “I am brave and strong.” Repeat that with me. I am brave and strong. We’ll say a few more affirmations together in just a minute. Once you’ve calmed your body and your mind, you can give yourself something new to focus on. Replace the fear with something happy, something you enjoy. Maybe you could relive a favorite memory in your mind. Really try to picture every detail clearly. Or you could think about what happened on a funny show you watched. Or you could make up your own story that combines all your favorite things, like puppies, and ice cream, and singing unicorns, or what makes you smile the most. It can also help to re-direct your thoughts by listening to music – or by listening to your favorite calming podcast. With some practice, you’ll find that you have the power inside yourself to overcome your fear.
Now let’s say a few affirmations that can help you feel brave, strong, and confident. Pick your favorite one, and tuck it away in your memory so you can say it next time you feel afraid. I’ll say each affirmation twice. Listen once, then say it with me the second time, either out loud or inside your mind.
I am safe.
I am in control of my fear.
I can do big brave things.
Each breath fills me with courage.
Everything will be ok.
I will allow peace to fill my soul.
Now smile and take a few slow, deep breaths as we wind down our time together. Now we’re going to listen to one last song, and as we do, you can practice the things you learned about managing your fear. Take deep breaths, relax your body, say affirmations, and calm your mind by redirecting your thoughts to happy things.
Being brave
Doesn’t mean you’re never scared
Being brave
Doesn’t mean your fears aren’t there
When I feel afraid
I know that’s ok
When I feel afraid
That’s my chance to practice being brave
Being strong
Doesn’t mean you can do it all
Being strong
Doesn’t mean you never fall
When I feel afraid
I know that’s ok
When I feel afraid
That’s my chance to practice being brave
I can’t wait to spend some time together again soon. Until then, I like you, I’m proud of you, and I’m glad we are friends. Have a happy and peaceful day.
Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. It is made possible by our supporters on Patreon. Become a supporter by visiting Patreon.com/likeyoupodcast. Like You is written and hosted by me, Noah Glenn. I also composed and performed the Like You theme music and other music that appeared in the episode. Additional music for this episode came from IMAKEMADBEATS. Our podcast cover art was illustrated by Mia Saine. Our episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn. If you’ve enjoyed the podcast, I hope you’ll tell your friends, and leave a 5 star review on Apple Podcasts. We love hearing from listeners. You can send us voice memos, drawings, and pictures by having a grownup send an email to hello@likeyoupodcast.com or if you follow us on instagram, send us a direct message there. Visit our website at likeyoupodcast.com to find show notes, an online shop, and other info about the show. Be sure to follow us on instagram, Facebook, and twitter @likeyoupod. Thanks for listening!
