On this episode We’ll learn to handle our big wild feelings with a technique called name it and tame it.
Show Notes
Parents, “name it to tame it” can be a helpful tool for kids learning to manage difficult emotions, and it can be especially helpful if you apply it in conversations as well. You may be able to identify the name of an emotion more readily than your child. When they tell you about something that happened, you may help by saying things like “it sounds like you are frustrated,” “that must have felt scary,” “it seems like you feel sad about that.” Not only does this help them identify and manage their feelings, it also lets them know that you hear them and understand what they are experiencing.
“Name it to tame it” was coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel in his book The Whole-Brain Child. Hear him discuss this idea in this video clip. Read more about the concept here:
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Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. The show is written and produced by Noah Glenn. The show’s artwork was illustrated by Mia Saine. Episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn.
This episode features original music by Noah Glenn.
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Transcript
Noah: Don’t forget to subscribe to Like You on your favorite podcast app, so you never miss an episode. While you’re at it, you can leave a 5 star review to help other listeners find us. I also want to thank our supporters on Patreon who help make each episode possible! You can also be a part of helping us produce new episodes by making a small monthly donation at Patreon.com/likeyoupodcast. Now let’s start the show!
[intro music]
Noah: Hello! I’m Noah and this is Like You, a mindfulness podcast for kids. I’m so glad you’re here! On this episode We’ll learn to handle our big wild feelings with a trick called name it and tame it. So listeners of all ages, find a place to listen where you feel comfortable and safe. As I ask questions and invite you to say affirmations, you’re welcome to speak out loud, or as always, you can just think your responses quietly in your mind.
Let’s start with a breathing exercise. For this breathing exercise, I want you to be able to see the effect of your belly moving up and down as you breathe. We’ll need something soft and cuddly to help with this. If you can, grab a teddy bear or another stuffed animal. You can pause the podcast if you need to find one. If you don’t have a stuffed animal nearby, you could use a pillow. If you don’t have anything small and soft, that’s ok too. Just use your imagination.
Once you have your stuffed animal, give it a big hug. Next, if you’re able to, lie down on your back and rest your stuffy on top of your tummy. If you’re unable to lie down, you can sit instead and gently hold the stuffed animal against your tummy. Now look down at your stuffed animal resting against your stomach. For a few moments just quietly observe the stuffed animal. Think about how it feels against you. Is is heavy or light? Is it soft? Does it have short fur or long hair? Can you smell it? Spend a few more seconds just paying attention to the stuffy as you breathe slowly in and out. [short pause]
What did you notice about your stuffed animal? As you breathe with the stuffy on your stomach, did you see it move at all? It is probably moving up and down with each breath you take. Now let’s take a few deep breaths and notice how the animal moves. Take a deep breath in, and you’ll see the stuffy move up as your stomach fills with air. Then slowly breathe your air out, and watch the stuffy lower back down with your belly. Take another deep breath in and watch the stuffy rise. Then slowly let your breath out and watch the stuffy lower. Take a few more deep breaths watching it rise and fall. Breathe in. And out. Breathe in. And out. In. And out.
Great job. Now on the count of three let’s all say I like me. 1-2-3. I like me.
I like you too. I’m proud of all the ways you’re growing on the outside and the inside.
Now let’s say thank you to your stuffed animal for helping with the breathing exercise. Give it another hug. Does your stuffy have a name? What is it?
Would you say your stuffy is a tame animal? A tame animal is one that has learned to interact with people in a safe, kind, and gentle way. If you have a pet cat or dog, they are tame animals who have been trained to live in a house with people. Animals that are not tame are wild animals. Wild animals live out in nature – in forests and deserts, and jungles, and prairies. Tame animals, like your family pet or your stuffed animal, are often given names. And today we’re going to give names to our emotions to help us tame some of our wild feelings. And some of our feelings do feel quite wild don’t they? Have you ever had a big feeling that felt out of your control? When we practice mindfully stopping to notice what we are feeling and why – to name what we are feeling – it helps us to tame that feeling and puts us back in control.
So today we will talk about a few of those emotions that feel wild and untamed. Then we will give them a name, and tame them to help us feel calm and in control.
Let’s start with a feeling that most of us find very pleasant: happiness. Think about how you feel when you are very very happy. What kind of things does your body want to do when it is overwhelmed with happiness? Perhaps you smile. Maybe you jump up and down or dance. You might even squeal with delight and run around the room until you bump into something and fall over. When you’re feeling a very big feeling, naming what that feeling is, can help you focus your energy. So next time you’re feeling super happy, stop to name that feeling: This is happiness.
Maybe just for fun you could even imagine the feeling of happiness as a tame animal, like a friendly little parakeet, a colorful bird that some people keep as pets. Picture your happiness as a bird, then give it a name. You can pick any name you like. Paul, Jada, Lewellyn, it’s up to you. Now call the bird by its name. And imagine the bird takes a deep breath, then floats down to land gently on your outstretched finger. Once you’ve tamed your happiness, it can be there for you like a pet to play with any time you want.
Now let’s try another big wild feeling that we all feel sometimes. Anger. How does your body feel when you are angry? You might feel tense and tight all over your body. Maybe your eyebrows scrunch up. Perhaps your heart pumps hard inside your chest, and you start to feel warm. Anger can feel wild and out of control, but next time you feel it, stop take a deep breath and give a name to what you are feeling: I feel angry right now. Often just saying what we are feeling can help us feel calmer and more in control.
Once again, just for fun, let’s imagine our anger as an animal, then give it a name. What sort of animal do you think anger would be? Maybe a bear or a tiger? You choose an animal to represent your anger, and then give it a name. Anything you choose. Maybe even give it a funny name like Tiny or Goofball to make it seem a little less intimidating. And imagine that the animal is calm and tame. Now say its name. Imagine it taking a deep breath, then curling up for a nap. Next time you feel angry, name what you are feeling. You could even say, “there’s my old friend Tiny the Angry Tiger, or Goofball the Bear.” See if naming your emotion helps you to tame it and helps you feel in control of your feelings.
Let’s try one more wild emotion. Sadness. How does your body feel when you are sad. Maybe your face feels droopy. Your whole body might feel heavy and slow. Perhaps you cry uncontrollable tears. There might be a heavy feeling in your chest.
Remember, often just saying what we are feeling can help us feel calmer and more in control. So next time you feel a wild sadness, try to name it and tame it. Stop, take a deep breath, and name what you are feeling: I feel very sad. Just naming what you feel is the first step to moving beyond the feeling.
One last time, let’s pick an animal to represent sadness and give it a name like a tame pet. What kind of animal do you think sadness would be? An elephant or a sloth? Or something else? What do you think? Once you’ve picked an animal, give it a name. Any name you like. Say the animal’s name, and imagine it taking a deep breath and calming down.
With whatever big, wild, out-of-control emotions you feel, practice taking a breathe and giving your emotion a name. First name what the feeling is – anger, sadness, fear, worry. Then you can imagine that feeling as a tame animal that is completely in your control.
Now let’s say some affirmations. Affirmations are words you can say about yourself to remind yourself how wonderful you are. You can say them out loud or inside your head. We’ll say each affirmation twice. You can listen the first time, then say it together the second time.
I am in control of my feelings.
I can tame my wild feelings.
All of my problems have solutions.
I can get through anything.
I am allowed to take up space.
I am proud of who I am.
I am growing inside and outside.
Now let’s smile and take a few slow, deep breaths as we wind down our time together. If any of those affirmations stood out to you, feel free to write them down, or just store them safely in your mind to say when you need it. Right now I want to play an affirmation sent to us by a podcast listener. I’ll let him introduce himself and tell you his favorite affirmation.
Ryker: My name is Ryker, I am five years old. I am from Utah. My favorite affirmation is I like me and my favorite part of the podcast is listening to songs.
Noah: Thank you Ryker, for sharing that affirmation! And since you love listening to songs, I’ll play one in just a moment. If any other listeners have an affirmation that is special to you, I would love to hear it! You can have a grownup check our website or show notes for ways to get in touch and share your affirmations.
I’m going to end today’s podcast with a song called When I’m Me. It’s about noticing each feeling as it happens inside you, and always remaining true to who you are.
When I’m up, I’m up
When I’m down, I’m down
When I smile, I smile
When I frown, I frown
When I’m me I’m me
and that’s who I’ll always be
When I’m me, I’m me
And that’s who I like to be
I can’t wait to spend some time together again soon. Until then, I like you, I’m proud of you, and I’m glad we are friends. Have a happy and peaceful day.
Like You is a production of Perpetual Motion. It is made possible by our supporters on Patreon. Become a supporter by visiting Patreon.com/likeyoupodcast. Like You is written and hosted by me, Noah Glenn. I also composed and performed the Like You theme music and other music that appeared in the episode. Our podcast cover art was illustrated by Mia Saine. Our episode art is created by Lindsey Glenn. If you’ve enjoyed the podcast, I hope you’ll tell your friends, and leave us a 5 star review wherever you listen to podcasts. Grownups can find more information about Like You, by visiting our website at likeyoupodcast.com. Thanks for listening.
